Question by Adam P.: I’m heartbroken and left confused. D:?
I’ve been dating my ex again (its a long distance relationship). We live about 5 hours away from eachother(me in LA, shes in San Francisco). Basically shes gotten herself into some MLM pyramid scam and lately shes been asking me to help her get up by sending her money(literally 200-300 dollars).
Confused as to why she kept bringing up her pyramid scam job I asked a friend to check her facebook(considering i don’t have one). I trusted her for the first 5-6 months blindly even though i had doubts. Unfortunately my friend found out her relationship status is “Married To” some random guy in Vegas.
I understand girls do this often but i’ve never seen a girl whos currently dating put another guy’s name in this sort of manner.
Yes i do feel horrible for spying on her but now i can’t sleep. I’m pretty heartbroken that even if he was a friend she’d place him before me. Shes NEVER mentioned his name to me for the 5-6 months we’ve been dating.
My question is, do i REVEAL that i actually spied on her? I’m afraid of what might result from the fact that i broke our trust. I made a facebook to add her so that i could bring it up myself, but she hasn’t accepted my request for the past 2-3 days.
To all the girls out there, is this normal? What could it be early or late sign of? Should i leave her? I don’t know what to do.
P.S. we had a very SLIGHT argument where i got annoyed that she asked me to “support” her by sending her money. She hasn’t called me for the past 3 days.
Best answer:
Answer by Darrick
Let’s see, should you leave. She lies to you about a husband and yes not saying anything is lying, she wants your money for something really stupid, what else oh yea she won’t return you calls or your what did you call it, a face book. Yes dump her, run and never look back.
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8 Comments
happier days
on 2nd Feb, 12 03:02am
How about you just break up with her and then you wouldn’t have to worry about all this BS she’s involved in.
Best of Luck.
smilewaitsyou
on 2nd Feb, 12 03:02am
Duh? You’ve been taken!
?
on 2nd Feb, 12 04:02am
wow.. it seems like she’s using you
and especially if she is married to some other person.. she probably go back to you to get the money
though, i might be wrong
you do need trust in relationships, but i would keep an eye on her if i were you
if i were you i wouldnt make a facebook under your own name and face because she obviously wouldnt accept your add IF she is cheating
bjoebeach
on 2nd Feb, 12 04:02am
YEAH THE BEST WAY TO GET AWAY FROM DRAMA IS DON’T BE DRAMATIC, DUH!
Complicated
on 2nd Feb, 12 05:02am
Don’t send her money. The fact that she even asked would be a problem for me. People should handle their own stuff in this realm. That’s a character issue, IMO.
As far as the other, given the money issue, I don’t know why it would even matter, bc you should ditch her, but ask her about the other guy if you want to know. Please learn from this. Don’t give people money in these situations, that’s like some kind of weird prostitution. Ick.
I’m so sorry for you. You will feel better if you learn from this. Look at it for exactly–and only–what it really is. It’s the only way to learn!
Good Luck
Sue B
on 2nd Feb, 12 06:02am
You did NOT spy!! Get that through your head right now. ANYONE who has a profile online this is NOT PRIVATE!!!
That’s all she wanted dude was your money. I know, cause I had a ex bf whom once he started sending it, it’s all I wanted!! Not him………his money!! I was broke and I thought I could see light Beyond the tunnel. I kind of felt bad taking it at first but when I seen how stupid he thought I was by believing I was the only lady in his life, hey, taking his money got so much easier!!!!
Skittles
on 2nd Feb, 12 06:02am
Of course you should confront her. She has a thing with this random dude you have no idea of. Don’t tell her you were spying on her because that’s such an ugly word. lol just be honest and tell her that something in your heart was telling you things weren’t right, AND dont leave it just like that, explain things to her. Go into detail about the things bothering you in the relationship. Do admit that you saw what you saw and you were bothered. If shes hiding something from you she’ll get mad at you TRUST ME if not, i don’t see why she would make it a big deal. its just facebook. NOT like you were going thru her phone or something face book is out there for the PUBLIC
things really don’t smell right to me and avoiding the problem well just worsen things. GOOD LUCK
amyhpete
on 2nd Feb, 12 07:02am
I’m so sorry she broke your heart, but I am afraid she was using you for money. You don’t have to outright say you spied. Call her and say, “I heard a rumor that you’re on Facebook saying you’re married to a guy in Vegas. Do you know anything about this?”
Another Facebook truth is, if you’re in the Los Angeles network now, you can add the San Francisco networks (put “my network” on the FB search bar if you don’t know how to change your network). Depending on her settings, you might be able to see her Facebook activity without her adding you. Of course if she freaked out about your friend request, she might have hidden everything to Friends Only, but it’s worth a shot.
That way when you do confront her, you will know exactly what she’s been saying to others.